Today I am incredibly thankful for LRH tech, namely the Personal Ethics and Integrity course and PTS/SP tech. I will be mentioning something very personal to me, and perhaps someone reading can relate, and hopefully, it can help them. I grew up around a suppressive type. I can't say whether this person is severely PTS or an actual SP, but his actions were suppressive. I will be mentioning these things and, I don't want anyone to consider I take the stance of a victim, but rather, someone who once thought herself one, and the tech helped me empower myself and validate all the things I knew but was in doubt about at the same time.
Being an artist, I was always a sensitive being. No matter how many times this suppressor tried to "toughen me up," it just wouldn't work. Instead, it broke me down, and I take full responsibility that I agreed to the very many awful things he said about me. I couldn't understand why else he would treat me like crap every other day other than what he said it was for: "because he cares and the world would just chew me up and spit me out."
His words were never subtle; neither was his rage. In the non-Scientological world, one would call this emotional and verbal abuse. Every time I tried to tell him how he was hurting me, he would say to me how I should grow up, not be so sensitive, not be paranoid, and that this kind of thing was typical. He downplayed everything and made it seem as if I was crazy for thinking his reactivity to my existence was anything but expected behavior. He called me various names, and those names were buttons other people used, which to me just validated that he was right. I subsequently chose unhealthy people to spend my time with because, to me, this was normal.
Considering there were actual logical and Science-based facts to back up that this behavior was not okay, it didn't occur. Instead, I showed emotional abuse articles to my suppressor, naively thinking he would finally accept his responsibility but, that never worked out. Since learning about the tone-scale, I've realized that different tones have different realities where the suppressed or, in some cases, insane, can't distinguish between similarities, differences, and identities.
Today, after a few months of disconnecting from this person, he made contact and, the short of it is that he hasn't changed one bit. The old me would have gone crazy trying to find some evidence for his behavior, and I'd desperately try to point it out to him, but the new me, the independent Scientologist, has learned several things since then.
I've learned about the 12 suppressive traits that are found in an abusive/suppressive person. I knew that if something is destructive to a being, it is not prosurvival. I learned about the code of honor and used it daily. I learned about the nature of the tone level of Anger. Knowing how to use the Chart of Human Evaluation gave me the ability to respond to this phenomenon, an antagonist's purposes, and other fabulously useful tools.
I learned about why people act destructively towards others and that it is -despite what these individuals may say, never in the name of help, but always from fear and hate. I learned that counter-intentions do exist and that not everyone has the same goal: to help oneself and others.
I learned that there is a difference between fact and opinion (albeit logical now, it wasn't at the time). I realized that I have a right to choose who I want to communicate with and who I don't.
Lastly, I learned the two most important things: I didn't need to hate him, and I didn't need to hate myself for believing these things and considering I was a victim. We both made some agreements at some point or another, but I have choices now. I no longer have the same considerations on these agreements and have made NEW, far more prosurvival decisions, on my own, without this individual in my future.
This win is more significant than I can fully express. It changes everything in how I see people, intentions, personal integrity, and more. This win spreads into every area of life, and I am genuinely grateful to be free of the opinions that once shaped my life. On a lighter note, always remember, opinions are like bellybuttons. Everyone has one!
For anyone curious about any of the things I've learned and which course has helped, you can contact me personally on Telegram at +27793897995 with your name and how I can help.
Thank you for reading, and I hope it can help others empower themselves.