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Why Independent Scientology is my Permanent Occupation
November 22nd, 2022
Naivete plus ultra
I've been an Auditor for over 34 and a half years and trained at FLAG at the height of the most significant influx of people to Scientology. It was something to see firsthand how busy it was. I love how I have that relative comparison before things went truly south inside the church at the FSO (FLAG Service Org.)
Even then, I saw things that didn't jive with what LRH said in policy about the running of organizations, but it was slight, and things had yet to have time to trickle down to my Hubbard College of Improvement (academy) at FLAG in any life-changing way. I thank the lucky stars I was there at the tender age of 19, fresh out of High School.
When I was fired back to my Org., the real education began in applying what I had learned to the staff and public there. I wasn't prepared for what I experienced and eventually left staff, disillusioned at least in being on staff. It was humiliating on a personal level, having been a student of the week so many times and having one of the best student graphs in FLAG's history.
Why couldn't I handle them? I wondered about this for years.
The Choice Between Darkness and Light
I was faced with something I never thought I would be. I was no longer on my chosen career path as an auditor and Scientology Executive in a Class V org. I had let myself down. I had done everything I could that Ron said I should in policy, and no one would listen. It was a dark pit of disillusionment with myself, I had let Ron down, and I had a freeloader's debt. Everyone I knew treated me as a lesser individual for leaving.
Then, I remembered a loose-leaf policy letter that had yet to make it into any OEC volumes since its original printing. It said (paraphrased), "If you ever have any problem with the tech, it isn't the tech, but the personalities involved."
Something as-is'ed at that moment in a way I couldn't describe, it was the first time, but it wouldn't be the last.
Darkness turned to light. Remember, I had yet to have a lot of auditing and was an unrecognized past-life Clear at this point. I didn't know it, but I was on crutches as a thetan then. That would right itself through this same process ironically much later.
During this period, I used to think there were always mysterious and hidden secrets somewhere that I never knew how to do as an auditor in delivering the tech back then. LRH wrote a reference on this titled "The Hidden Data Line," yet it didn't handle this worry of worries for me, even after word clearing it thoroughly.
There were in fact things I hadn't learned yet, understandably, but I kept digging that ditch to learn more by auditing and getting myself and others up the Bridge over the last three decades.
The more I learned and the more I audited, I learned a lot from auditing others, not just training in it. By the by, I came to notice something marvelous through applying the tech to others, and I had yet to see it in other religions, companies, groups, or arts.
LRH said to do a certain thing; if you did what he said to do, you would get an inevitable result. This may sound corny to some. However, it was a remarkable thing for me.
I knew I could duplicate what he said in writing and GET those results for others, just like that as-is'ness with the personalities involved on staff back at the org all those years ago. It wasn't that he told me what to do, but the INDICATION of the situation blew the charge. - Just like what I was doing with my pre-clears.
What It Comes Down To - Trust the Process
In some weird way, I was expecting something else to happen that I was actually putting there of my own creation. I couldn't trust the process of Scientology and Dianetics because I had never encountered something that did what it said on any close to a consistent basis. It was profound beyond words for me.
I soon realized that the invalidation of one's abilities by oneself or others was ultimately where this originated. How could I truly trust something or someone else when nothing ever seemed to offer what it promised in MY universe and how could I ever make this happen for others consistently? That was, after all, an unconfrontable responsibility. If you will, a self-created Mobius loop in what I thought was supposed analytical thinking on my part.
I had to trust myself before I could trust others and especially LRH. Once I did, the consistent results were manifest in everything. - I was the personality involved at the time.
Again, just like the policy that helped me as-is my darkest period in a failure to Ron as an auditor.
I had to trust the process within myself and the tech that I would get the results Ron says I always will. I don't just believe it, and I am certain of it.
Given this epiphany, I will always be an auditor as my one and only profession in this lifetime.
It is my most incredible privilege to do so for myself and others.